Tag Archives: children

Simon Sinek on Millenials in the Workplace (~15 minutes; less time than it takes to scroll your feed(s)).

This brief video is better described as:

“Digital Dilemma,” “Digital Dementia,” or “Piss Poor Parenting/Preparation.”

As parents we need to be more engaged with our kids as they navigate through early life, adolescence, and young adulthood.

I see too many 12 year olds, 10 year olds (mine previously included), even as young as 6 years old having cell phones or iPads. Listen to this video, and identify yourself, your friends and family, and your kids in his talk.

How many of you are guilty of being on your phone when your kid is trying to get your attention, then getting angry because they are interrupting your game, or post, or mindless scrolling?

Me. I’m guilty. As a matter of fact, I’m guilty of everything that I wrote in this…advice piece…rant….whatever. I’ll call it an enlightening article.

We have to pull these phones back. They have watches that allow kids to call a set amount of pre-programmed numbers, and you can track your kids via GOS on them. No messages. No social media. No addictive dopamine kicks throughout the day, which then cause terrible crashed, withdrawal, and depression later.

I propose that kids have no digital device (social media, texts) until they are at least 16 years old, and even that may be too early.

And stop giving your kids everything they ask for. If they didn’t earn it, then they don’t give it.

And seriously, what kid needs a smartphone? It’s barely necessary for most adults to own.

Watch the video… on your device…then put your devices up because your kids probably want your TIME.

www.youtube.com/watch

Simon

Example from video’s implications of negative effects:

A ‘friend’s’ kid went to the doctor recently and was prescribed an antidepressant. From a 30 minute office visit, from a physician…and no diagnosis. I advised the ‘friend’ to disregard this hack’s prescription, find a new doctor, and maybe try to spend less time on their own devices and more time with the kid. Like Simon says in the video, when our phone is siting in close proximity when someone (in this case our kid) is trying to interact, we are sending a signal that they aren’t important, or at least as important as the strangers on our social media pages.

Either you control your day, or your day controls you…

What’s it going to be?

www.youtube.com/watch

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Goals

Well, after reviewing my self-proclaimed ‘epic’ advice blog post about goal setting…I realize there is very little actual information about how to actually set the goals rather than just the importance of having them.

I will write a shorter, more digestible blogpost later today with some practical steps/advice on how to set goals that will be productive rather than destructive. I’ll also explain the importance and difference between 1st level, 2nd level, and 3rd level goals (short-term, mid-term, and long-term goals, respectively).

Prioritizing within these levels is also important, and developing and implementing an action plan is just as important as setting the goal(s). You can’t have one without the other. Well you can…but you won’t end up where you want to be.

More on this later….get your workout in!

As soon as I’m healed, I’ll be joining you. I had my workers (family/friends/spouse/kids) finish my workout space/office…and I can’t wait to use it.

And here it is!

Patiently (impatiently) waiting for my body to heal…meanwhile…Shakeology!!

The Reality Behind Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

There is a strong position amongst therapists and educators promoting the importance of emotional intelligence. But is it an actual thing? There is one Psychologist who declares that it is a societal construct, coined by a journalist and not a social sciences academic. More on that as we go…

Emotional Intelligence can be defined as “(noun) the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.” (Siri :)).

Parents are concerned about their child’s or children’s ability to develop intellectual skills they will need to succeed in school and life. But what level of intelligence is required for success? Surely it’s healthy to express emotions in a reasonable and socially acceptable manner. But should we really expect children to “master their emotions” (Dr. John Gottman)? Dr. Gottman writes that “once they master this important life skill, emotionally children will enjoy increased self-confidence, greater physical health, better performance in school, and healthier social relationships” (Gottman, 1997).

Well, that all sounds fantastic….but how do we measure emotional intelligence? Everyone is drastically different in how they view and process their existential reality. Most adults I’ve met don’t have that level of emotionall intelligence that is described in Dr. Gottman’s book.

Communicating with our children is not easy, and it’s downright frustrating when emotions run hot. Some experts claim that when there is a heated exchange, the parent shoudl allow the child some space to decompress. However, Dr. Gottman suggests that you sit down with the child and encourage them to explore what they are feeling, identify the feelings and what caused them, and to walk them through positive coping skills. That sounds fantastic, but it isn’t practical. When my child is angry or upset, the last thing she wants is ‘Therapist Dad’ probing her brain and teaching her life skills. It’s best to leave that for when they have calmed down. Because when hormones and adrenaline increase, cognition and memory decrease. So obviously we can have a more meaningful discussion once they’ve calmed down.

Now, enter Dr. Jordan Peterson, a very intelligent and atypical Clinical Psychologist and Professor from the University of Toronto in Canada. He boldy claims that EQ does not exist. The idea was made up by a nobody journalist named Daniel Goleman, who is not a psychologist. Dr. Peterson claims “there’s no such thing as EQ” and that “you can’t just invent a trait, you have to define it, measure it, and distinguish it from other traits and use it to predict important ways that people vary” (Peterson, 2016). In a study by a couple of Australian psychologists, they discovered that there is little evidence of validity to support the claims that EQ is important for any meaningful gains in the pursuit of life, love, liberty, and happiness. That article can be read HERE. 

So….what’s my take on the issue? Well, as a father of three daughters, I want them to be emotionally intelligent…but I’m unclear exactly what that means or how to promote it. I speak with my children about feelings and expression of emotions in healthy ways. But as far as a life-changing ‘trait,’ I’m not convinced. But I’m not professional on the matter….at least not yet. But Dr. Peterson is….and you can read his full response to the EQ idea HERE.  

As always, I welcome and encourage comments, thoughts, complaints, etc… If you have some thoughts on this topic, please leave them in the comments below. If you have questions, leave those below also and I will seek out the best answerd that I can.

My Girls
Russell Brand and Dr. Jordan Peterson

Have a great Saturday!! And remember, don’t overthink life, just do the next right thing.

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