Tag Archives: fathers

Struggles and Stuff – Update – Sat Jun 29 2019

Well, another month has passed and I am not much closer to my goals from February, aside from my weight staying down. I know that sounds different because at 36 y/o we all know that weight is difficult to maintain, especially with erratic sleep and eating schedules. Bet hey, we take the wins where we can get them.

For those that follow me closely (Hi, Mom), I have been really struggling with my sleep and subsequently my mood. It’s funny that I am writing this at 0555 in the morning on a Saturday. I thank my daughter for strolling into my room at 0400 this morning. I just stayed up because I can’t continue to just lay around wishing for sleep, it’s driving me crazy.

So I came to the kitchen to perfect my espresso. 7 shots later (I only drank 3) I am still not perfect but I know a few things that I should not do…. like start the machine without a cup underneath the drip.

Cup of espresso sitting on my coffee counter in front of espresso machine and some grounds visible on the counter with a 1970’s backsplash in the background, and a shakeology cup :)

My seventh and final cup of espresso from this morning. Lightly tamped, full ground (9) blonde roast, approx. 2.6 oz.

It doesn’t look too bad. In hindsight, I should have practiced with my cheaper auto-drip coffee, but you know what they say about hindsight… it fills you with regret and despair! Seriously, it’s not that serious.

Health Status

Where to begin… I have no idea about my health. As I alluded to above, I am not sleeping well at all. At all. I had a sleep study done about six days ago on Monday night. I had seen a new sleep doctor the preceding Friday, Dr. Jane Doe. Actually, it isn’t ‘Jane,’ but for anonymity I will keep it like that. I don’t want to alienate my new Doctor, although she has a better chance of being discovered by kids in Guam with no internet than on my scarcely read blog pages.

My depression is but it isn’t. That’s about how much sense it makes to me. I try to justify my wild ups and downs (mostly the latter) by referring to my three close encounters with death (read about those in here). *(While linking that I just realized my blog is still an unorganized mess… and I’m very frustrated with WordPresses Interface)

I’m hiring a pro-bono website designer..

As Far as medication, I’m off of everything except vitamins and otc medications for my stomach/GI tract. But I don’t have to tale those much thanks to my Shakeology and Shakeology boosts. Check out my YouTube channel for a video or more about Shakeology (yes, I sell it, but more importantly I drink it…the proof is in my kitchen. Click on the picture for my YouTube Channel that needs more content)

Shakeology stash... vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, caffe latte, digestive health boost, power greens boost

My beloved Shakeology stash. This, my friends, is why I’m not 300 lbs right now. No joke.

So, I clearly have no clue about my health other than that I am alive and breathing, and today that’s good enough for me.

School

Well, graduate school is not hard, well, not in the sense that it takes maximum effort to produce quality work. The hard work comes in when trying to makes sense of the terrible ideologies of the professors and the education system in general. I believe I should finish my degree(s) before I elaborate on that.

I can write an A paper in no time; about 7.5 hours for a 7-8 page paper, APA formatted with 8-10 references… IF I know what I want to right about. Maybe double that when trying to narrow a topic. That may sound like boasting, and it is. I am quite proud of my strengths.

I have no idea where I am going n my educational journey, but I know I don’t really want to quit just yet. I have received a few job offers this summer. Well, we’ll say one actual job offer and opportunities. Connections are important folks. I’ve always been bad at that, but the connections that I have made are quality. Quality > Quantity as far as I’m concerned.

I’m going to add here that I don’t think that psychiatrists in general are very good people. I’ve never met one that wasn’t a complete fabrication of a counselor… a medical doctor (not even a knowledgeable one) that TALKS TO YOU, never listens, for about 10-15 minutes and pushes medications. They have no training, or act like they don’t, in counseling. I don;t know how that got so twisted on television. But then again, I’ve only ever seen government paid Psychiatrists.

I said that to say this: I explained my goals (and my apprehension in pursuing them because of my age and family status) to my psychiatrist and she acted very pleased and offered me her best wishes. When I read her note the next week I saw that she actually thought that I was psychotic and had ‘grandiose’ and unrealistic plans for my future. I have a gang of terrible words brewing about her right now so let me just say that I was not happy.

Goals and everything else…

Ok, so as I said in the opening to this very lengthy Seinfeld-esque post about my vanity, I have been slacking on my goals. In reality, I’ve been crushing out my college courses but that’s about it.

I am doing my best to get into my fitness regimen (not regiment folks… a routine isn’t a military unit) again, but as you read, maybe, I have not been sleeping well. My energy is down. And to be honest, if you have every had MDD (major depressive disorder) you would know how terrible that is. Depression is one thing, everyone gets it at some point. It sucks. MDD is different. Listen to Dr. Jordan Peterson’s description here. That’s about as accurate as I can tell. It may even be worse. It’s not good. And the worst part of it, I KNOW THAT I AM BLESSED AND I HAVE SO MUCH TO BE HAPPY ABOUT. That’s why it’s so complex and difficult to treat.

So I am going to jump back on the horse and get back into working out. I need some workout buddies. My fitness clients don’t live anywhere close so I simply post about my workouts (or lack thereof) and coach them. You don’t technically have to be fit to help others get fit, but it is useful to be a product of your knowledge. And I am going to make sure I get there.

In my opinion, if you can walk without support you can be fit. NO EXCUSES. I will standby for proof to the contrary.

As for my fitness coaching, blogging, vlogging, and other endeavors… I am pushing forward. People need encouragement and I need to help people. Without that, I don’t know what I would do.

I think I’ll stop here and pick this up next time.

Thanks to those that took the time to read this. If you made it all the way through, leave a thumbs up or something in the comment section.

Have a great day!

Andrew

Simon Sinek on Millenials in the Workplace (~15 minutes; less time than it takes to scroll your feed(s)).

This brief video is better described as:

“Digital Dilemma,” “Digital Dementia,” or “Piss Poor Parenting/Preparation.”

As parents we need to be more engaged with our kids as they navigate through early life, adolescence, and young adulthood.

I see too many 12 year olds, 10 year olds (mine previously included), even as young as 6 years old having cell phones or iPads. Listen to this video, and identify yourself, your friends and family, and your kids in his talk.

How many of you are guilty of being on your phone when your kid is trying to get your attention, then getting angry because they are interrupting your game, or post, or mindless scrolling?

Me. I’m guilty. As a matter of fact, I’m guilty of everything that I wrote in this…advice piece…rant….whatever. I’ll call it an enlightening article.

We have to pull these phones back. They have watches that allow kids to call a set amount of pre-programmed numbers, and you can track your kids via GOS on them. No messages. No social media. No addictive dopamine kicks throughout the day, which then cause terrible crashed, withdrawal, and depression later.

I propose that kids have no digital device (social media, texts) until they are at least 16 years old, and even that may be too early.

And stop giving your kids everything they ask for. If they didn’t earn it, then they don’t give it.

And seriously, what kid needs a smartphone? It’s barely necessary for most adults to own.

Watch the video… on your device…then put your devices up because your kids probably want your TIME.

www.youtube.com/watch

Simon

Example from video’s implications of negative effects:

A ‘friend’s’ kid went to the doctor recently and was prescribed an antidepressant. From a 30 minute office visit, from a physician…and no diagnosis. I advised the ‘friend’ to disregard this hack’s prescription, find a new doctor, and maybe try to spend less time on their own devices and more time with the kid. Like Simon says in the video, when our phone is siting in close proximity when someone (in this case our kid) is trying to interact, we are sending a signal that they aren’t important, or at least as important as the strangers on our social media pages.

Either you control your day, or your day controls you…

What’s it going to be?

www.youtube.com/watch

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Goals

Well, after reviewing my self-proclaimed ‘epic’ advice blog post about goal setting…I realize there is very little actual information about how to actually set the goals rather than just the importance of having them.

I will write a shorter, more digestible blogpost later today with some practical steps/advice on how to set goals that will be productive rather than destructive. I’ll also explain the importance and difference between 1st level, 2nd level, and 3rd level goals (short-term, mid-term, and long-term goals, respectively).

Prioritizing within these levels is also important, and developing and implementing an action plan is just as important as setting the goal(s). You can’t have one without the other. Well you can…but you won’t end up where you want to be.

More on this later….get your workout in!

As soon as I’m healed, I’ll be joining you. I had my workers (family/friends/spouse/kids) finish my workout space/office…and I can’t wait to use it.

And here it is!

Patiently (impatiently) waiting for my body to heal…meanwhile…Shakeology!!

Thoughts on Parenting Pt. 1

I think, at least for those of us with kids, or that had kids, or that work with kids…that they can be SO DIFFICULT!!

They are little sponges….and they’re super intelligent. They’ll remember something you said or did 4 years ago and bring it up in an argument…literally rendering your point moot. But they can never remember where they put that other shoe. Mommy and Daddy always “take ONE SHOE” and hide it to make her upset (so I’ve heard…).

I’m raising three beautiful and smart daughters, and I have no idea what I’m doing. There was no manual that popped out with the kids during childbirth (trust me, I grabbed a tool and checked…:) ) I don’t know if there is a perfect way to raise kids, and I’m sure there are a million ways to mess it up. But what I am sure of is that if I show them love and respect, along with discipline and consistency, they will have a fighting chance.

They do have my attitude and stubbornness, and they are more intelligent than I give them credit for sometimes. But I love them, love them, love them…No lack of hugs and verbal affection in our household. I think that’s important. I also know that our communication needs improvement, because if they can’t open up to me then they’ll open up to someone like me (when I was a teenager)…and this is not what we want at all.

We are a work in progress…which is where I think most of us are in our parenting journey. Of course it can’t be a universal and static process….every person is different. And there are plenty of confounding variables outside of the family system, especially through media, that really mess with some of the core values and beliefs that we (I) try to instill in them.

Older picture of me at my heaviest…just over a year into recovery and cranking out mad classes to graduate.

I love my babies….and I wouldn’t give them up for anything. But I’m also not having anymore biological children…snip,snip,snip…. But we may foster or adopt at some pointy when my educational journey has come to an end….

Thanks for reading….Please share some of your parenting tips, tricks, and complaints below!

**Please pardon any typos…I am going to start writing my posts in MS Word so I can regulate the grammar and spelling more efficiently.

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