All About Life and the Pursuit of Knowledge, Meaning, and Health as Experienced by a Disabled-but-able-bodied Veteran, Husband, Father, Christian, Native Floridian; Fitness/Wellness/Recovery Coach; And a a Seeker of Wisdom, Good Books, And Great Thinkers.
“Digital Dilemma,” “Digital Dementia,” or “Piss Poor Parenting/Preparation.”
As parents we need to be more engaged with our kids as they navigate through early life, adolescence, and young adulthood.
I see too many 12 year olds, 10 year olds (mine previously included), even as young as 6 years old having cell phones or iPads. Listen to this video, and identify yourself, your friends and family, and your kids in his talk.
How many of you are guilty of being on your phone when your kid is trying to get your attention, then getting angry because they are interrupting your game, or post, or mindless scrolling?
Me. I’m guilty. As a matter of fact, I’m guilty of everything that I wrote in this…advice piece…rant….whatever. I’ll call it an enlightening article.
We have to pull these phones back. They have watches that allow kids to call a set amount of pre-programmed numbers, and you can track your kids via GOS on them. No messages. No social media. No addictive dopamine kicks throughout the day, which then cause terrible crashed, withdrawal, and depression later.
I propose that kids have no digital device (social media, texts) until they are at least 16 years old, and even that may be too early.
And stop giving your kids everything they ask for. If they didn’t earn it, then they don’t give it.
And seriously, what kid needs a smartphone? It’s barely necessary for most adults to own.
Watch the video… on your device…then put your devices up because your kids probably want your TIME.
Example from video’s implications of negative effects:
A ‘friend’s’ kid went to the doctor recently and was prescribed an antidepressant. From a 30 minute office visit, from a physician…and no diagnosis. I advised the ‘friend’ to disregard this hack’s prescription, find a new doctor, and maybe try to spend less time on their own devices and more time with the kid. Like Simon says in the video, when our phone is siting in close proximity when someone (in this case our kid) is trying to interact, we are sending a signal that they aren’t important, or at least as important as the strangers on our social media pages.
You don’t have to stay there. There’s hope…if you seek it.
Most people are afraid of change, yet everything (including YOU…AND ME) is in a constant state of flux (change).
People are afraid to take risks or ‘take a leap of faith,’ because people fear uncertainty…and more often than not fear of rejection is a contributing factor. What will my friends think? What would my Dad say? What are people going to say about these extravagant dreams/goals?
SIMPLE ANSWER: Who cares what other people think…
When you start chasing those seemingly outlandish life-long dreams, people will come out of the woodwork to try to convince you how crazy that is or why it’s a bad idea. SHUT THAT SHIT OUT. Go with your passion, visualize the end goal, and work your ass off everyday to get there. Never stop, never quit, and never take NO for an answer. If you fail, change your strategy and do it again. And again. And again.
Shut those toxic naysayers out of your life. Friends? Bye. Spouse? Sorry, Bye. Family….yep…Bye.
You’ll quickly find out who has your best interests in mind. And that process won’t be pretty, but in the end it will have been worth it.
Someone said (Jim Carrey?) that “you can easily fail at what you don’t want in life, so why not go after what you do want?” Failure is part of the process. Don’t be afraid of failure, that’s how we learn and grow.
And for crying out loud, stop comparing yourself to other people, and start comparing yourself to an earlier version of yourself. (Jordan Peterson, Rule #4 in his book “12 rules for life: An anecdote for chaos). All rules listed below.
I believe that we, as a modern and debatably weak(er) minded construct, have become accustomed to blaming anything and everything for the way we live our lives, the way our lives turned out, or the things that have happened to us or are happening to us right now. Maybe it is someone else’s FAULT that you are missing a limb. It is most definitely someone else’s fault if you have fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS). It’s not your fault if you parents liked to drink or drank so much that they can be considered ‘problem drinkers’ or alcoholics.
But with all these faults that are ours, yours, mine, theirs… we have to take responsibility NOW for what we are going to do next. “I was born in a barn.” Okay, so what are you going to do? Stay in that barn? (metaphorically) Or are you going to leave the barn and begin to live, burn that barn down and start fresh, walk away from that barn and never look back??
Playing the victim seems to be the popular game these days, especially for ‘groups’ of people that claim they are marginalized and labeled, when they themselves are the ones that are marginalizing and labeling, or even worse, accepting those labels and crying out for people to give them something foe their suffering. Money, power, attention…but most importantly they want to be respected. We all do. But you don’t gain much respect by playing the ‘victim’ and blaming other people for you inability to overcome adversity.
Les Brown stated that “nobody is going to want to help you if you are always complaining.” Isn’t that true? Think about some examples of that in your own life. Have you experienced this or seen someone else experience this? Who gets more money… the guy on the street looking angry holding a sign that says “homeless and hungry,” or the guy playing the violin with a sign that says “will play for food?”
I’m not inferring that homeless people need a talent to be fed. I was demonstrating the importance of positivity, responsibility, and motivation to get what you NEED.
Now, with all the adversity that EVERYONE contends with every single day, why is it that groups of people are labeled as being worse off than others? Whole groups of people, and there are hundreds, maybe thousands of groups depending on how the ‘victim’ chooses to describe his/herself, are at a disadvantage because of something that happened hundreds or thousands of years ago?
I think it’s time we will take responsibility for our own lives and those of our children and start making tracks every day to improve our existence. I’m not going to sit down on my couch with my hand out waiting for someone to pay me for a wrong that happened to me 10 years ago, or for something that happened to an ancestor that I’ve never met (Scotland would probably owe my family of that were thee case).
It is my duty, my responsibility, and my moral obligation to say “I’m moving in that direction, straight ahead (straight up is also acceptable) because there is nothing back there that is going to change a thing. I can blame everyone for everything, but in the end that blaming will get me NOTHING but pain and suffering, which I don’t want any of, not anymore.
Now I’m going to get really specific because this has been eating at me. You can love it or hate it, but life is too short to sugar coat this mess.
I am not sorry that I’m not a person of color. I’m not privileged because of the color of my skin. Some people may have been mocked or mistreated because of the color of their skin, and I have too. But I’m not complaining about it. The thoughts, opinions, and words that other people have towards me are irrelevant to the goals that I am chasing. If you choose to dwell on who has more and “why me?” crap, then you will just get more of what you’ve been getting, and you can only blame yourself for being who you are today.
Get off the “poor me because I’m…gay, black, Hispanic, female, male, Asian, muslim, disabled, etc… The question remains… “what are you going to do about it?” What, within your locust of control, can you do to improve your suffering and live a life of fulfillment and meaning?
You can start by getting rid of those thoughts that someone owes you or that you’ve been wronged. Take responsibility for your trajectory, take charge of your thinking, take actions daily to improve your life, and when you finally get it…you will be obligated to share it and help ease the suffering of others.
And if you are thinking that this post is racist, or sexist, or anything ‘ist,’ that just goes to show you that this post is indeed about you. And you need to change the way you are looking at things. Racism is real. Sexism is real. Bigotry is real. But that’s not coming from the majority of the populace… it is a very small minority of people.
Don’t believe the lies you have been told about history, about the world, and especially the ones about yourself. “Self-fulfilling prophecies.” I’ll let you look that one up.
Have a great day and please Like, Subscribe, Share, Comment, Complain, Follow, etc…
Additionally, if you have an opinion piece that would like featured on this page, send me a message and I’d be happy to consider it.
Well, after reviewing my self-proclaimed ‘epic’ advice blog post about goal setting…I realize there is very little actual information about how to actually set the goals rather than just the importance of having them.
I will write a shorter, more digestible blogpost later today with some practical steps/advice on how to set goals that will be productive rather than destructive. I’ll also explain the importance and difference between 1st level, 2nd level, and 3rd level goals (short-term, mid-term, and long-term goals, respectively).
Prioritizing within these levels is also important, and developing and implementing an action plan is just as important as setting the goal(s). You can’t have one without the other. Well you can…but you won’t end up where you want to be.
More on this later….get your workout in!
As soon as I’m healed, I’ll be joining you. I had my workers (family/friends/spouse/kids) finish my workout space/office…and I can’t wait to use it.
And here it is!
Patiently (impatiently) waiting for my body to heal…meanwhile…Shakeology!!
I’m taking a couple of courses in school right now that have challenged my world view and the way that I think. And that’s ok. But one thing that I don’t agree with, is that peoples’ passions and life purposes can be evaluated by a so-called career counselor and dismissed based on practicality.
I think we all know the story of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and
Jeff Bezos…just to name a few. If they would have listened to the naysayers and
compromised on their dreams, who knows where they’d be, or where we as a
society we would be. But they didn’t listen, and they made amazing things
Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. That’s up to you to decide. Don’t settle for the easy route because it’s safe, comfortable, and/or familiar. Dream big, go hard, and never quit chasing your passions.
One thing to ask yourself, however, is if what you want
is just to make a bunch of money (and there’s nothing wrong with that), you
might be chasing a career or job that will feel like work. The goal is to do
something that feels rewarding and fulfilling. Life is too short to hate your
job, and you’ll die early if that’s where you are.
If you’re stuck in your job, and you hate what you do…evaluate
your dreams and passions and go after it. It doesn’t matter of your 45 or 59…because
you still have a good 40-50 years left to crush life. So…what are you waiting
The only limits we have are those that you set for yourself and believed, and those that others set for you and you accepted. NO LIMITS! Sure, some people may have to work harder for many reasons; disabilities, race, ethnicity, gender, or whatever other victim mentality you choose to embrace. Well, put all that shit aside and take the next right step. The truth of the matter is, not everyone is created equal. Individuals are different, with different genetic make-up.
quote fromDr. Peterson:
“Human beings are born with
different capacities, if they are free, they are not equal. And if they are
equal, they are not free.”
But these differences do not lay within ethnic groups or geographical location…they cross cultural lines and gender differences. Men are stronger than women, fact. Women can think more abstractly than men, fact. Skin color has nothing to do with talent or ability, and everything to do with blaming others for your lack of effort.
Look up Denzell Washington’s speeches, Matthew McConaughey, Gary Vaynerchuck, Jim Rohn, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Tony Robbins, and do some google searches on what it takes to reach your potential. There are numerous videos and podcasts and quotes from these people and more, and none of them mention inequality as a factor. Successful people don’t play the blame game or play victim to past circumstances, or present perceptions of how people think of them.
from Les Brown: Black Author, unconcerned with his skin
color or the ideology of ‘privilege.’
“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are
living our fears.”
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among
achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.”
“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you
who will get you where you want to go, no one else.”
“When life knocks you down, try to land on your back.
Because if you can look up, you can get up. Let your reason get you back up.”
has no limitations, except the ones you make.”
“Your smile will give you a positive countenance that
will make people feel comfortable around you.”
“Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.” “If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.”
Think about these things when you start feelings sorry for yourself, or when you start comparing yourself to other people because you think you know their struggles through life based on how they look and act. You’re not a victim unless you choose to be.
So man-up. woman-up, human-up….whatever…just RISE UP and get after it.
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