Tag Archives: veteran

Struggles and Stuff – Update – Sat Jun 29 2019

Well, another month has passed and I am not much closer to my goals from February, aside from my weight staying down. I know that sounds different because at 36 y/o we all know that weight is difficult to maintain, especially with erratic sleep and eating schedules. Bet hey, we take the wins where we can get them.

For those that follow me closely (Hi, Mom), I have been really struggling with my sleep and subsequently my mood. It’s funny that I am writing this at 0555 in the morning on a Saturday. I thank my daughter for strolling into my room at 0400 this morning. I just stayed up because I can’t continue to just lay around wishing for sleep, it’s driving me crazy.

So I came to the kitchen to perfect my espresso. 7 shots later (I only drank 3) I am still not perfect but I know a few things that I should not do…. like start the machine without a cup underneath the drip.

Cup of espresso sitting on my coffee counter in front of espresso machine and some grounds visible on the counter with a 1970’s backsplash in the background, and a shakeology cup :)

My seventh and final cup of espresso from this morning. Lightly tamped, full ground (9) blonde roast, approx. 2.6 oz.

It doesn’t look too bad. In hindsight, I should have practiced with my cheaper auto-drip coffee, but you know what they say about hindsight… it fills you with regret and despair! Seriously, it’s not that serious.

Health Status

Where to begin… I have no idea about my health. As I alluded to above, I am not sleeping well at all. At all. I had a sleep study done about six days ago on Monday night. I had seen a new sleep doctor the preceding Friday, Dr. Jane Doe. Actually, it isn’t ‘Jane,’ but for anonymity I will keep it like that. I don’t want to alienate my new Doctor, although she has a better chance of being discovered by kids in Guam with no internet than on my scarcely read blog pages.

My depression is but it isn’t. That’s about how much sense it makes to me. I try to justify my wild ups and downs (mostly the latter) by referring to my three close encounters with death (read about those in here). *(While linking that I just realized my blog is still an unorganized mess… and I’m very frustrated with WordPresses Interface)

I’m hiring a pro-bono website designer..

As Far as medication, I’m off of everything except vitamins and otc medications for my stomach/GI tract. But I don’t have to tale those much thanks to my Shakeology and Shakeology boosts. Check out my YouTube channel for a video or more about Shakeology (yes, I sell it, but more importantly I drink it…the proof is in my kitchen. Click on the picture for my YouTube Channel that needs more content)

Shakeology stash... vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, caffe latte, digestive health boost, power greens boost

My beloved Shakeology stash. This, my friends, is why I’m not 300 lbs right now. No joke.

So, I clearly have no clue about my health other than that I am alive and breathing, and today that’s good enough for me.

School

Well, graduate school is not hard, well, not in the sense that it takes maximum effort to produce quality work. The hard work comes in when trying to makes sense of the terrible ideologies of the professors and the education system in general. I believe I should finish my degree(s) before I elaborate on that.

I can write an A paper in no time; about 7.5 hours for a 7-8 page paper, APA formatted with 8-10 references… IF I know what I want to right about. Maybe double that when trying to narrow a topic. That may sound like boasting, and it is. I am quite proud of my strengths.

I have no idea where I am going n my educational journey, but I know I don’t really want to quit just yet. I have received a few job offers this summer. Well, we’ll say one actual job offer and opportunities. Connections are important folks. I’ve always been bad at that, but the connections that I have made are quality. Quality > Quantity as far as I’m concerned.

I’m going to add here that I don’t think that psychiatrists in general are very good people. I’ve never met one that wasn’t a complete fabrication of a counselor… a medical doctor (not even a knowledgeable one) that TALKS TO YOU, never listens, for about 10-15 minutes and pushes medications. They have no training, or act like they don’t, in counseling. I don;t know how that got so twisted on television. But then again, I’ve only ever seen government paid Psychiatrists.

I said that to say this: I explained my goals (and my apprehension in pursuing them because of my age and family status) to my psychiatrist and she acted very pleased and offered me her best wishes. When I read her note the next week I saw that she actually thought that I was psychotic and had ‘grandiose’ and unrealistic plans for my future. I have a gang of terrible words brewing about her right now so let me just say that I was not happy.

Goals and everything else…

Ok, so as I said in the opening to this very lengthy Seinfeld-esque post about my vanity, I have been slacking on my goals. In reality, I’ve been crushing out my college courses but that’s about it.

I am doing my best to get into my fitness regimen (not regiment folks… a routine isn’t a military unit) again, but as you read, maybe, I have not been sleeping well. My energy is down. And to be honest, if you have every had MDD (major depressive disorder) you would know how terrible that is. Depression is one thing, everyone gets it at some point. It sucks. MDD is different. Listen to Dr. Jordan Peterson’s description here. That’s about as accurate as I can tell. It may even be worse. It’s not good. And the worst part of it, I KNOW THAT I AM BLESSED AND I HAVE SO MUCH TO BE HAPPY ABOUT. That’s why it’s so complex and difficult to treat.

So I am going to jump back on the horse and get back into working out. I need some workout buddies. My fitness clients don’t live anywhere close so I simply post about my workouts (or lack thereof) and coach them. You don’t technically have to be fit to help others get fit, but it is useful to be a product of your knowledge. And I am going to make sure I get there.

In my opinion, if you can walk without support you can be fit. NO EXCUSES. I will standby for proof to the contrary.

As for my fitness coaching, blogging, vlogging, and other endeavors… I am pushing forward. People need encouragement and I need to help people. Without that, I don’t know what I would do.

I think I’ll stop here and pick this up next time.

Thanks to those that took the time to read this. If you made it all the way through, leave a thumbs up or something in the comment section.

Have a great day!

Andrew

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Introduction to Some Other Me:

The Making of “The DadAholic

(Part 0 of 3)

This is some type of introduction to my story about my journey through the first part of my life, and my arrival… here… to the first part of my life.

I have accumulated quite the collection of stories in my short lifetime. These stories a a variety of interesting, horrifying, and even unbelievable events and experiences that I have done a good job of hiding. Unfortunately for you, I’m going to share most of them. And it’s probably a good thing that I don’t.

I have several good reasons (and many selfish and ‘not-so-good’ reasons) why I will keep the majority of them to myself.

One good reason is that my stories aren’t special in the sense that other people’s are average. They are unique because they are mine, but they are average because everyone has their own unique history. I don’t see the point in stirring up memories and emotions (mine mostly) just to show everyone how… far I can spit.  

Another decent (and selfish) reason is that I’m not going to put unnecessary personal information out for the world to see. And though there are few things truly secret in my life, people can work for dirt on me of they want it. But be warned because what some people may see as dirt, I regard as building blocks. And I’m not afraid of exposure. I’m just not going to fuel it.

So… I decided some time ago that I should document my journey in recovery. Actually, I want(ed) to document my entire life. For the reasons stated above. Additionally, I should mention that I find people extremely interesting. I mentioned that people are unique in their life experiences, and this is correct. But what might surprise many people, is the fact that most people have similar thought processes and instincts to one another. And when you see someone showing all the beauty and awe in their social media profiles, rarely are they much different from you. And the most likely scenario (though not in every case), is that they are more messed up than you think… or maybe even more than they realize.

That’s a post or series of posts for another time.

I’m going to break down my recovery story into a series of posts that will build on one another… I think. This post is already approaching 400 words and I’m not a huge fan of writing a book for a blog post. It’s hard on the eyes.

I will begin with my first decade of memories in the next post, which would be about age 7 to age 17. Then I’ll do 17-27, then 27-present, roughly.

Stand by while I figure out what I’m going to do…

Part 1 is HERE-

Part 2 is HERE-

Part 3 is HERE-

Simon Sinek on Millenials in the Workplace (~15 minutes; less time than it takes to scroll your feed(s)).

This brief video is better described as:

“Digital Dilemma,” “Digital Dementia,” or “Piss Poor Parenting/Preparation.”

As parents we need to be more engaged with our kids as they navigate through early life, adolescence, and young adulthood.

I see too many 12 year olds, 10 year olds (mine previously included), even as young as 6 years old having cell phones or iPads. Listen to this video, and identify yourself, your friends and family, and your kids in his talk.

How many of you are guilty of being on your phone when your kid is trying to get your attention, then getting angry because they are interrupting your game, or post, or mindless scrolling?

Me. I’m guilty. As a matter of fact, I’m guilty of everything that I wrote in this…advice piece…rant….whatever. I’ll call it an enlightening article.

We have to pull these phones back. They have watches that allow kids to call a set amount of pre-programmed numbers, and you can track your kids via GOS on them. No messages. No social media. No addictive dopamine kicks throughout the day, which then cause terrible crashed, withdrawal, and depression later.

I propose that kids have no digital device (social media, texts) until they are at least 16 years old, and even that may be too early.

And stop giving your kids everything they ask for. If they didn’t earn it, then they don’t give it.

And seriously, what kid needs a smartphone? It’s barely necessary for most adults to own.

Watch the video… on your device…then put your devices up because your kids probably want your TIME.

www.youtube.com/watch

Simon

Example from video’s implications of negative effects:

A ‘friend’s’ kid went to the doctor recently and was prescribed an antidepressant. From a 30 minute office visit, from a physician…and no diagnosis. I advised the ‘friend’ to disregard this hack’s prescription, find a new doctor, and maybe try to spend less time on their own devices and more time with the kid. Like Simon says in the video, when our phone is siting in close proximity when someone (in this case our kid) is trying to interact, we are sending a signal that they aren’t important, or at least as important as the strangers on our social media pages.

Either you control your day, or your day controls you…

What’s it going to be?

www.youtube.com/watch

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Goals

Well, after reviewing my self-proclaimed ‘epic’ advice blog post about goal setting…I realize there is very little actual information about how to actually set the goals rather than just the importance of having them.

I will write a shorter, more digestible blogpost later today with some practical steps/advice on how to set goals that will be productive rather than destructive. I’ll also explain the importance and difference between 1st level, 2nd level, and 3rd level goals (short-term, mid-term, and long-term goals, respectively).

Prioritizing within these levels is also important, and developing and implementing an action plan is just as important as setting the goal(s). You can’t have one without the other. Well you can…but you won’t end up where you want to be.

More on this later….get your workout in!

As soon as I’m healed, I’ll be joining you. I had my workers (family/friends/spouse/kids) finish my workout space/office…and I can’t wait to use it.

And here it is!

Patiently (impatiently) waiting for my body to heal…meanwhile…Shakeology!!

Life, Goals, and Mindset 2/20/2019

I’m taking a couple of courses in school right now that have challenged my world view and the way that I think. And that’s ok. But one thing that I don’t agree with, is that peoples’ passions and life purposes can be evaluated by a so-called career counselor and dismissed based on practicality.

This is what people actually do….sleep their lives away. I’ve done it, and all it did was make me miserable.

I think we all know the story of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Jeff Bezos…just to name a few. If they would have listened to the naysayers and compromised on their dreams, who knows where they’d be, or where we as a society we would be. But they didn’t listen, and they made amazing things happen. 

Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. That’s up to you to decide. Don’t settle for the easy route because it’s safe, comfortable, and/or familiar. Dream big, go hard, and never quit chasing your passions.

One thing to ask yourself, however, is if what you want is just to make a bunch of money (and there’s nothing wrong with that), you might be chasing a career or job that will feel like work. The goal is to do something that feels rewarding and fulfilling. Life is too short to hate your job, and you’ll die early if that’s where you are.

If you’re stuck in your job, and you hate what you do…evaluate your dreams and passions and go after it. It doesn’t matter of your 45 or 59…because you still have a good 40-50 years left to crush life. So…what are you waiting for?

The only limits we have are those that you set for yourself and believed, and those that others set for you and you accepted. NO LIMITS! Sure, some people may have to work harder for many reasons; disabilities, race, ethnicity, gender, or whatever other victim mentality you choose to embrace. Well, put all that shit aside and take the next right step. The truth of the matter is, not everyone is created equal. Individuals are different, with different genetic make-up.

Famous quote from Dr. Peterson: “Human beings are born with different capacities, if they are free, they are not equal. And if they are equal, they are not free.”

But these differences do not lay within ethnic groups or geographical location…they cross cultural lines and gender differences. Men are stronger than women, fact. Women can think more abstractly than men, fact. Skin color has nothing to do with talent or ability, and everything to do with blaming others for your lack of effort.

Look up Denzell Washington’s speeches, Matthew McConaughey, Gary Vaynerchuck, Jim Rohn, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Tony Robbins, and do some google searches on what it takes to reach your potential. There are numerous videos and podcasts and quotes from these people and more, and none of them mention inequality as a factor. Successful people don’t play the blame game or play victim to past circumstances, or present perceptions of how people think of them.

Quotes from Les Brown: Black Author, unconcerned with his skin color or the ideology of ‘privilege.’

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

 “Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.”

“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.”

“When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up. Let your reason get you back up.”

“Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.”

“Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you.”

“Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.” “If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.”

Think about these things when you start feelings sorry for yourself, or when you start comparing yourself to other people because you think you know their struggles through life based on how they look and act. You’re not a victim unless you choose to be.

So man-up. woman-up, human-up….whatever…just RISE UP and get after it.

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2/13/2019 Quick Update

Some of the highlights…but deceitfully free of life’s lows…I’ll get around to sharing that.

I’m slowly building this site so bear with me a bit, it’s coming along. As I decide what it is exactly I want to write about in my blog, what kind of value I can provide for those that happen to stumble upon my page, I am discovering many things about myself…but more importantly I am realizing that I have so much that i want to tell the world, so much that I want to teach my kids, and so much that I want to give back to society. As this blog progresses, more of my life will become public and people will learn things about me that only a few people know.

As a veteran with PTSD, a father of three daughters, a graduate student, and a person in recovery from chemical dependence and mental illness….I have some skeletons; but I’ve never met anyone that has no skeletons in their closet. I have met many people that choose to project that they don’t have issues, baggage, or past trauma…and they want everyone to believe that their lives are perfect. You will not get that vibe from me. I’m an open book. I ask that you subscribe to my blog, share your experiences in comments or private message, call me out if you hate what I say, let me know if something resonates with you….but my goal here is to encourage people to look at themselves and others and realize that they aren’t alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I think you’ll be surprised at much of the personal stories and experiences that I share. I have nothing to hide.

Standby as I come up with a method to share that flows well and doesn’t get too jumbled. Stick with me, and you’ll not regret it. Have a fantastic day!!

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